Two Stories in One

This is the same blog entry as "Myspace" but it definetly bares repeating:

I will start with the exciting news.....As of 7:55PM eastern Standard time, Amanda had her baby! 9 1/2 pounds! Holy cow! i have used bowling balls smaller than that. So Im on the phone with them and I ask them what they decided to name the baby. Even though they have had NINE months to figure out this minor thing they waited. David (AManda's Husband, AKA my son-in-law) had it narrowed down to two names and said when he saw the baby he would know which one to name it. I laughed b/c I have had my share of kids and the only thing you know when they are born is.....well, actually when the baby is born you don't know anything. You turn into a snot faced sniveling idiot that coos and gaas over theis slimey lump of flesh that is your only take home prize from the torture chamber named "labor and delivery." Anyway, so they call me to tell me the baby has been born and it is 9 1/2 punds blah blah blah, and then I say, "Hey what did you decide to name the boy. My forst granchild?" And David said, "Oh I don't know we forgot about that part." Yea, so that my first grand son does not come into this world nameless I herby take up my grandfather mantel and declare that this boys name is, Edibeirto Craig Gonzalez. It has a great ring especially if you put a think Mexican accent on the first and last name with a strong mid-western accent on the midle. See even right now you're trying it. Kool huh? Pictures soon to come.
Story two:
THe other day I was sitting on our 2 inch by 2 inch second story balcony listening to the kids play below. ( I could not see them due to the railing only hear them). Then I hear Sierra scream, "NOAH NO! OH DAD THAT IS SO GROSS!" You would think I would jump up to see what was going on, but by your third toddler you really have seen it all. From poop in the bathtub, to licking toads. Really what could rank with that I ask you? So I sat. Calm and relaxed. Up the steps came Sierra......I waited.......She slung open the door and said, "Dad! Noah is playing with dog poop!" (Okay this does rival previously quoted goss incidents.) I turn around in my chair to face the accussser of the brethren and lo-and-behold, behind her is Noah standing with pure innocence on his face. Of course I think it was innocence I could not tell because it was COVERED IN DOG POOP! Not only was it on his face, his hands, and jammed under his finger nails, but he was holding a tootsie roll all of his own! Sierra just pointed and said, "See!" AS if to say, case closed; your son is holding poop, he is not right. I composed myself and thought for a moment, 'yes poop playing does seem to cancel out all the days of pink hat wearing, lipstick smearing, and purse carrying.' So to the shocl and horror of Sierra and looked at Noah and said, "Go play, but don't eat the poop." He smiled and said, "okay daddy." And off he went. Needless to say, Patti was not home.